Yesterday Joseph and I were sitting in our dorm conversing about bands that we would like to see in concert. We were discussing this because we had seen a concert the night before with Trev, Cruise, Brent, and others (so please note that, as a result, both of us go very little sleep the night before). Anyway our conversation took us to a band named Deas Vail. They are a very easy-listening indie band, and so Joseph said that he would like to see them live while drinking cider at a coffee table. I was tired and ready for the conversation to be over, so I said the first thing that came to my mind… “Why that’s preposterous. Why would you drink cider at a coffee table? You drink cider at a cider table.”
Those of you that are my close friends know that I say some pretty outlandish things. Joseph is one of those people, so I expected him to let out a sigh or roll his eyes… something of that nature. No, he says something along the lines of, “those don’t exist!” Thus commenced a five or ten minute debate as to whether or not cider tables exist. I would like to take a few words right now to explain cider tables and whether or not they really do exist.
First of all, Joseph said that they simply do not exist. My rebuttal to his claim was quite simply this: How do you know? Sure I may not be able to find cider tables on Google, but does that really mean that they don’t exist? Of course not! Google doesn’t know everything, and it never will. In order to say that you are one hundred percent sure that cider tables don’t exist, you must first ask everyone on the face of the planet if they have a cider table in their possession. Will we ever be able to do that? No, we will not!
He then asked a question, “Why would you need a cider table?” The answer is that you don’t. There are plenty of people that do not like cider, and obviously, these people would have no use for a cider table. Yet they may still want one for decoration or for their guests. Just as many people that do not drink coffee still have coffee tables. It’s the same principle.
But what if you like cider but don’t have a cider table, so you use a coffee table. Is that allowed? Technically, yes, but honestly wouldn’t you feel so much better knowing that you were drinking your cider at a cider table and not at a coffee table. I mean that is like drinking coffee at a juice table! It’s silly! It is simply silly to drink one type of drink at a table that is not designed to suit that type drink.
I honestly don’t know why Joseph has such a hard time seeing my point of view on the whole matter of tables. But I hope that you do. So if you agree with me then please help me to spread the knowledge of the cider table around. We cannot allow people to remain ignorant to such serious matters as this. But if you disagree with me… don’t be my friend anymore. If you will remember when you became my friend, I had you sign a waver that tied our friendship in with your acceptance of cider tables. So if you refuse to acknowledge that cider tables are indeed real then I am afraid, by contract, we are no longer friends.
With Love and cider,
Cole
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