When Bed Bugs Attack!

Dark night
Fire light
Lost fight

Long story
No glory
Rather gory

Over grown
Birds flown
The unknown

Deserted path
Need bath
Nothing hath

Chaotic minds
Crooked lines
No need to further illustrate

124

Ode to a Fantasy Novel

I am the…
Chosen One/Savior/Dragon-Rider/Elijah Wood
And I live in a mystical land where…
Magic/Wizards/Dragons/Common Decency & Integrity
Haven’t been seen for hundreds of years

Currently I am a simple…
Farmer/Princess/Peasant/Hollywood Actor
But soon I will learn of my destiny to defeat the…
Dark Lord/ (huh…)
Who threatens to destroy the whole world

At first I will be…
Fearful/Hesitant/Defiant/Nervous about working with Peter Jackson
But soon a wise and mighty…
Wizard/Druid/Old Man/Mom
Will convince me to pursue my destiny

I will set out for my…
Journey/Quest/Adventure/Audition
With only my…
Best Friend/Lovable but fierce pet/Crazy uncle/Inhaler
By my side

But soon I will be joined by a…
Dwarf/Wanderer/Elf/”Fellowship”
Then we will face many perils, like the deadly…
Wraiths/Trolls/Gnomes/Critics
But most of us will make it out alive

One character will seem to die, but he will…
Come back stronger in the second book/Come back evil in the second book/Be reincarnated in the second book/Stay dead…dude, Rick, the camera guy, had a heart attack… that’s not funny, he died…
Eventually I will…
Return magic to the world/Defeat the Dark Lord/Turn into a zombie, ushering in the zombie apocalypse/Become a real celebrity
But it will take no less than three incredibly long books to do so.